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Deciding when to give your child a phone is not an easy task. Should you wait until they start high school or until they catch public transport home alone from school? Or, should 10 be the magic age when they become official phone owners? Or do hold off as long as you can until you can no longer bear their moaning that everyone else has one except for them!!
When my boys were younger (and I knew a little less), we had a family ‘understanding’ that when the boys started Year 5, they would receive a (very cheap and likely second hand) phone. Up until Year 5, my boys would go to after-school care. Somehow, turning 10 and entering Middle School meant after-school care wasn’t really that ‘cool’ anymore, so instead they required a phone so they could safely catch the train home by themselves. The fact that they could also use these devices to play games and talk to their friends was of course, only a secondary consideration for them!
That was how we managed the phone situation but let me assure you, almost every other family we knew had a different approach. Some gifted their offspring the latest iPhones as soon as they were requested, others provided a phone but with no ‘credit’ so the devices could only be used to receive calls. Others chose to wait till Year 7 and beyond and made their kids pay for the phone plan out of their pocket money.
Now, I’m a big fan of parents choosing what works best – no one knows a child quite like a parent does, right? But the problem is, deciding what’s right can be really overwhelming. So, I’ve put together a list of things to consider when making this all important decision. Once you’ve worked through these points, I am sure you’ll feel more confident to make a decision that works for both you and your child.
Having parented 4 very different boys, I am the first to confirm that every child grasps personal responsibility at different stages. Some kids just have a knack for losing things while others have the same lunchbox their entire school career! Some kids just get the consequence of spending money while others spend up big whilst gaming online, blissfully unaware of their bill.
You child’s digital reputation should also be worth considering when making your decision. Some kids understand that their online behaviour forms a key part of their reputation while others will charge forth in a heated online exchange without thinking.
I really believe there is a direct link between social smarts and a positive online experience. When a child can read a situation and instinctively know when to shut it down or withdraw, their online experience will be far more rewarding. If your child is slow to catch on to social cues, they may struggle with posting and communicating online.
When I was deliberating about giving my eldest son a phone, he really went hard with the safety argument – knowing it would appeal to my parental anxiety. So, I relented but he had to promise to answer when I called. And he did – usually!! But it’s worth pointing out that a device itself doesn’t guarantee safety. If your kids are travelling home from school, they still need to know how to cross the road, not to talk to strangers and to always lock the front door once home. A phone doesn’t teach this. But I personally did find it handy (and anxiety reducing) to be able to give them a quick call to give them a few reminders and ensure all was well.
When my younger boys received their phones, tracking apps like Life 360 were available. I know, they are controversial but, personally I found these super helpful. Being able to see where they were after school and to ensure they were heading in the right direction on the train, brought me great comfort to me when I was beating away on my keyboard at work.
If, after reading this, you’re thinking that your child really isn’t ready but still love the idea of being able to contact them, why not consider parental controls or a phone with limited features?
Putting age-appropriate boundaries around what your child does on their device is what parental controls will do. If you decide that you don’t want them to download TikTok, play particular games or view certain categories of websites, then this maybe your answer. You can also choose to set limits on their daily screen time and block out times when their phone can’t be used. Check out McAfee’s SafeFamily parental controls for peace of mind.
Or, instead, why not make a ‘dumb’ phone their only option? A basic dumb phone lacks the advanced functionality of most smartphones – think phones before the internet. This means you’ll be able to call and text them but will probably be more relaxed knowing they’re not researching the latest fads on TikTok!
Some companies have designed dumb phones for kids that even have built in parental controls. Open Mobile has a SmartKids Phone with a built-in GPS tracker and SOS button and comes without a camera. It does have internet connectivity but parents can see which apps have been downloaded, restrict specific apps and nominate what days and times apps can be used. A perfect option for a tween or young teenager!
Now, before making your final decision, I think it’s essential to think about your child’s sense of connectedness. As adults, we all know that being part of a community and ‘belonging’ is critical to mental health and self-worth. And I would not be doing my job if I didn’t remind you of just how fabulous a phone can be for staying in touch with your people. Just take a moment to remember how essential devices were for survival during Covid lockdowns.
So, over to you mums and dads. This is definitely one of the trickiest decisions you’ll make in your parenting journey but don’t forget that you know your child best. You’ve got this!
The post When Does My Child Really Need A Phone? appeared first on McAfee Blog.
“Together for a better internet.” That’s the rallying cry of this year’s Safer Internet Day, and it’s one we’re happy to hear. Particularly from a parent’s perspective.
Safer Internet Day celebrates its 20th year on February 7th and focuses on ways we can all protect, empower, and respect all children when they go online—and gives us an opportunity to reflect on what that really means.
Consider that for some time now, children have found themselves born into an online world. As soon as they can pick up a toy, they can pick up a phone or tablet too. And they often do, given that they’re growing up in homes where one is practically always in reach. With that, their online life begins.
Learning how to live life online is simply another part of growing up nowadays. And that’s where we as parents play a significant role. Just as in every other aspect of life, they look to us for guidance, encouragement, and new things to see and do online. Safely, too.
Children have said as much. In our recent global report entitled “Life Behind the Screens of Parents, Tweens, and Teens,” we asked who is best suited to teach them about being safe online. Children said their parents are the clear winners. Nearly three-quarters of children pointed to parents, almost twice more than teachers at school (39%) and more than twice over for online resources (34%).
However, while parents agreed with this, it appears they didn’t always follow through. For starters, parents reported using basic protection on their own computers at a relatively low rate. Even the simplest of security steps scored relatively low despite how relatively easy they are to take. That included using antivirus software (68%), protecting the computer with a password (58%), or sticking to reputable online stores when shopping (50%). These figures dropped yet lower when asked if they took the same precautions for their children on their computers.
For example, only 57% of parents said they installed antivirus on their child’s computer and only 44% have their child password or passcode protect their computer, as illustrated by the drops in the chart below.
This trend extends to smartphones as well. While 56% of parents said that they protect their smartphone with a password or passcode, only 42% said they do the same for their child’s smartphone—a 14% difference. Again, considering how easy it is to create a password or passcode for a phone, and how much of our online lives course through those devices, that figure would ideally come in at 100%.
In all, many parents protect their children even less than they protect themselves.
Everyone loves their smartphone. Children particularly so. While parents placed their smartphone as their top device at 59%, followed by their computer or laptop at 42%, tweens and teens put their smartphone at the top of the at a decisive 74%. Second was their gaming console at 68%.
Unsurprisingly, that love for the smartphone pushes children’s internet usage quickly to an adult level at an early age, marking a sort of early mobile maturity where they are exposed to the broader internet full of apps, chats, entertainment, and social media—along with their benefits and risks nearly right away.
Taken with the low level of security measures parents place on their children’s phones, we can see how children are going online with a device that’s largely unprotected—in part because their parents leave their smartphones largely unprotected as well.
Beyond devices, parents have other concerns about their children as they increasingly spend more time online, particularly as they get older. Some of the top ones include:
Increasingly, staying safe online involve more than protecting devices—it revolves around protecting the people who use them. Topics like the ones above are prime examples. They’re about people, not devices. Further, we have the broader issues of staying more private online and protecting your identity from hackers, scammers, and thieves—where once again, bad actors target people, not their devices.
It’s a lot to keep on top of.
And that can feel a bit overwhelming to a parent. Luckily, as with other aspects of parenting, you don’t have to think about all these topics all at once. They’ll crop up naturally over time, just as the umpteen other teaching moments do over the course of parenting.
It starts with asking a few questions. What might be on the horizon for our children as they go online over the next few weeks and months? How can you support them? And how can you prepare yourself for that support? Granted, those are some pretty broad questions. Yet we can help:
As for tools you can use to help keep your children safer online, we just released our McAfee+ Family Plans, online protection that’s personalized for the ones closest to you. Whether you want to protect your partner, children, parents, or a loved one practically anywhere, they offer tailored device, identity, and privacy protection for up to six people.
For your children, that means you can protect them from viruses, sketchy websites, and inappropriate content—plus establish ground rules for screen time, all in a way that’s right for them. Each child also gets their own Protection Score, a reflection of just how safe they are online, which you can quickly review and then get guide you through steps that can make them safer still. In all, it’s a powerful tool for parents who care about their children’s safety online.
You have yet another powerful tool at your disposal: conversations. You’ll find that some of the best protection you provide stems from chats with your children.
Sit down with them while they play an online game, ask what apps they like to use, or ask to look when a TikTok reel makes them laugh. These are all natural moments to get a glimpse into their digital life and simply talk about it—without lectures or preaching. The more you can make talking about life online feel like a normal thing, the more opportunities you’ll get to support them when they need it.
As parents, we can look at our children now and wonder what the internet will bring to them in the next five, ten, or even twenty years from now. It’s exciting, perhaps a bit dizzying, yet it’s more reason to offer your guidance and encouragement, to learn about life online together. That will give them a foundation they can build on, so they can enjoy a fulfilling and safer life online.
The post Safer Internet Day: Through a Parent’s Eyes appeared first on McAfee Blog.
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